Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
