That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
