Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
