i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drunk is not a location!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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