good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize