Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
