just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
