Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
