god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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