There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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