This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
