Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
