i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
