Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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