I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
