I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
