it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Damn victory sex feels great
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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