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im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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