community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
