matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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