he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize