Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You're a waste of cheezeits
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
