There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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