What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
