woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
vagina is talking i cant
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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