Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
