3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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