She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
