I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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