she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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