The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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