Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
