just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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