Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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