dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
