i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
