This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
