The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
