you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
