u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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