I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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