Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
