ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
