weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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