She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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