If i come over, it means nothing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
