Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
