Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
