Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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