What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
