am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
