you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
