Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just invented taco cereal.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
