I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
