It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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