I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
