return my video game
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
