why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
