im drinking this country out of the recession.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
