So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
