You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize