just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
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