so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize